Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Alex Alexander
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Becoming a Regular: How Third Places Open the Door to Unexpected Friendships
• 49 minIf a real third place opened in your neighborhood tomorrow, would you actually use it? And I don't just mean would you walk in. I mean would you sit down next to a stranger, let the conversation go wherever it goes, and leave with a connection you didn't plan for? We talk a lot about bringing third places back, and we should. Ray Oldenburg estimated that the US had lost about 90% of those everyday hangout spots! But what has to shift in us for those spaces to work? My guest today is Karen Christensen, a writer, publisher, and environmentalist who corresponded with Ray for 20 years before they ever met in person, and is now carrying his work forward. We've gotten so used to curating who we let in. We filter for the right age, the right life stage, the right personality and interests. Karen and I talk about why that habit might be part of the problem, and about a word she's a little obsessed with right now, propinquity! We also get into why a third place isn't the same thing as a park or a library, why I still haven't found mine, and what you can do if your neighborhood doesn't have one at all. In this episode you’ll hear about: The magic of bank lobbies, side patios, pub sheds, and other unique places to connectWhy Karen used to find chatty older people annoying, and what changed her mindThe two friends I’ve never met in person, and why they were my first call when I landed a book dealThe turquoise picnic table Karen painted for her front yard, and the simple invitation she's working up toWhat Victorian novels can teach us about friendship and proximityResources & Links Learn more about Karen on her Substack, The Way We Live Now. Episode 38: Bringing Third Places Back To Our Communities Episode 39: Take Action: Reviving Third Places and Walkable Communities Episode 104: Getting Less Passive and More Active on Podcasts and Social Media with Sharon Walters The Great Good Place by Ray Oldenburg The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.
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