Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Alex Alexander
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Your Friend Is Carrying an Invisible Backpack (And So Are You) with Stacey Uhrig
• 53 minWhat if you stopped needing to “fix” your friends? In this episode, certified trauma care practitioner Stacey Uhrig and I are talking about the “invisible backpacks” we all carry into our friendships. Inside that backpack are the lived experiences, beliefs, interpretations, protective patterns, and survival strategies someone has collected throughout their life. And when you look at friendship through that lens, a lot of things start to shift. Stacey and I talk through what it looks like to get curious about a friend’s behavior, from the hyper-independent friend, the friend who keeps canceling, and the relationships where you understand someone, but still have to ask yourself whether the friendship is working for you. We also talk about the part most of us would rather skip: our own backpack. Because yes, your friend might have a protective pattern. They might have a reason they don’t accept help, confide in you, show up consistently, or respond the way you wish they would. But your reaction to their behavior also comes from somewhere. And sometimes the most useful question is, “why does this matter so much to me?” In this episode you’ll hear about: How the urge to help a friend can sometimes reveal more about your nervous system than theirsWhy positive moments like birthdays, gifts, or being celebrated can still feel uncomfortable How a hyper-independent friend who refuses meals, check-ins, or support might not be rejecting you at allStacey’s trauma-informed critique of the “let them” theoryWhy some lifelong friendships feel impossible to walk away from, even when the connection no longer fitsResources & Links Learn more about Stacey’s work on her website, Flip Your Mindset. Episode 145: How To Reframe Rejection and Build Stronger Connections Episode 167: How To Ask Someone To Hang Out (Without Making It Weird) Episode 192: Disappointment Is the Cost of Friendship WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.
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