Friendship IRL
Alex Alexander
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You Don’t Need to Understand People to Accept Them
• 52 minTRIGGER WARNING: In this episode we talk about depression and suicide. Building friendships and community is a skill that takes hard work to master. For many people, such as myself and today’s guest, Noah, building these connections isn’t just for fun. It’s also about survival. Today, we talk about growing up in a household where you don’t feel seen or supported and then going off on your own – only to realize you’ve never developed the skillset to make friends and build community. As humans, we’re not meant to go through this life alone, and nothing reminds us of that more than when we feel alone. Eventually, Noah did find his chosen family, which was critical to battling his depression while living in Florida, where there’s a lot of anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation. So many people think they need to understand you to accept you, but the reality is, we’re never going to understand why and how each person in the world lives – and we don’t need to in order to accept them for who they are. In this episode you’ll hear about: Noah’s life after high school: studying drama in college and moving to Miami, where he fell into a deep depressionFear of rejection in friendship – beginners have to get out there and build resilience and NOT view themselves as simply bad at making friends or unworthyHow, until you become an adult, you might not HAVE to make friends – your family chooses where you live, your community, and the precedent for what’s acceptableMaking friends with people with whom you don’t feel like yourself as a means of surviving this phase of lifeThe messages society tells us – if you’re low, get yourself out of it – and the alternative to create a community who can hold and love you when you’re in your low pointsResources & Links There are only four states in the U.S. that don’t have active anti-LGBTQ legislation. Check out the ACLU website to see what bills are live in your state. Check out Noah’s podcast, “Severely Personal” and the Man Enough podcast. Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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